I really want this to do well, which is why I’m leaving the feedback, please don’t take it he wrong way. I really wanted to like it, but to be honest I haven’t bought more than the demo though since I’ve been finding it hard to follow in places. It’s a shame because the story itself sounds quite interesting, and playing a conflicted character like that could really get you into some great story lines. Maybe there’s a way to organise the choices so you have to find your sister first then find Merci’s sister second to try and make it less jarring? There’s some typos I’ve run into but haven’t been keeping track of those at the moment. Personally I’d be feeling too traumatized for that. It makes it a bit hard to feel much for her, as you start to wonder what her deal is that one minute she’s beside herself with grief, and the next thinking about discussing the appearance and social life of the sister of the person responsible for killing her own sister (even though it was done as a mercy killing). Then the next minute Merci is discussing how sexy she think your sister is and whether you think it’s a problem she’s going out with another woman. I was also a little concerned about the sudden switch in track where one minute you’ve just killed off Merci’s mutilated sister. I just ran into Razor in the lab who seems to know me even though I don’t know him and wanted me to take a handle? Sorry just from either the story track I’ve taken or maybe it’s from not reading the first book there’s things here which are confusing to me. If that’s the case, maybe put a big “Book 2, read book 1 first” or something similar in the description? Either that or have a glossary or similar with stuff I need to know (Like you’ve done with the “do you want more info on…” sections, they’re good.) Again, it might just help stop negative reviews from popping up. I just realised, I think this is a continuation of your first book? (Which I haven’t managed to read yet).
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